What I bought (and not returned)

I still remember that one sunny, slightly foggy Sunday afternoon in San Francisco. I was standing in line at Sightglass, coffee in hand, when a random guy walked by and said, "Nice coat."

—it wasn’t some sleek, designer piece. It was a worn-out wool coat, the one I’ve worn, traveled in, spilled on, dry-cleaned countless times, and still treasure today.

It matched the rest of my outfit that afternoon: linen pants I sewed myself (yes, really!), black merino turtleneck, old Converse, and an unbleached cotton tote I picked up at a London bookstore for a mere £1.50.

Ah, the glory time of pre-kids (Sun)days.

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Over the years, I’ve had many people ask, "Where did you get your coat/sweater/top?" "Where do you shop?"

When I posted a question to my Facebook years ago asking what I should do if I weren’t in tech, "stylist" and “designer” came up, quite a few times. I was secretly thrilled.

I studied math and was always in the orbit of tech and business. I never considered being a “designer” growing up. Still, fashion has found its way to me— whether it’s learning to sew during the pandemics, or spending a summer in London taking a design course (and escaping the Bay Area) during my career break.

Yes, ‘the way of dressing’ is important to me. It’s always on the back of my mind. On a day I’m feeling less inspired, dressing well lifts me up.

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But the truth is, in my “real life”— the one where I had to handle work stress, and now that plus my two-year-old— I simply don’t have time for it.

And to everyone’s surprise, I actually hate shopping. It’s exhausting—You browse for hours, order something that looks amazing, only to discover it’s a total letdown in person. Then there’s the hassle of printing shipping labels, repackaging, and hauling it to USPS, UPS, or FedEx—if I can even muster the energy.

I’d rather catch an extra hour of sleep.

Especially these days, where every instagram influencer seems to have the same look—hyping the latest "must-have" items (“suit vest”, anyone?)—I can’t help but wonder if there’s room for a style that’s truly functional, elegant, and sensible for the everyday woman—

I’m talking about the woman who juggles between work, mom duties, and errands day in and day out; the woman who’d rather not spend her energy scrolling for inspiration, but saving the time for sleep or going for a walk. She deserves a wardrobe that has pieces she actually wants to wear—one where she can simply grab something from the closet, throw them on, and instantly feel confident and put together.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

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So, here it is—my very pragmatic (and hopefully useful) style newsletter:

What I bought (and not returned)

to serve exactly this purpose.

This is the newsletter that I wish I’ve had myself.

I will simply serve up what I purchased each month or quarter, and decided to keep.

As simple as that.

Questions, suggestions, ideas? Send me a message! I’d love to hear from you, and I will try my best to answer in my next letter.

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Till then, here is a look at what I’ve been loving lately.

(All items are between $10 - $170, except for one piece at the end.)

Weekend Max Mara Pants in Milk:
Ankle-length, straight legs. Works great with sneakers, flats and ankle boots. The cotton corduroy fabric gives off a cozy winter vibe, while still looks sharp for most work occasions. It has two side pockets and two back pockets — that’s about enough for my wallet, keys, phone, lip balm, and paci(?)… when I’m rushing out the door.

I’m usually size 25/26, and size 4 fit perfectly. I have machine-washed them on a delicate cycle, and they held up pretty well.

And…since they are on sale, I bought a second pair. That’s how much I like them—and how terrified I am that my two-year-old (or, I, given my uncanny knack for spilling coffee) would put some permanent stains on them…

I’m wearing these pants with:

V-neck Cashmere Sweater:
The white, wheat, and navy all match well with the warm white pants. I find myself wearing navy the most, white the second. The price is unbeatable right now— almost as low as Quince, but I prefer this to the Quince version.

Also, one lesson I learned — size up if I ever need to dry clean these!

Footwear:
No new acquisitions. I rotate between white or off-white sneakers and ankle boots when I need a more polished look.

Outerwear: My current go-to? This Uniqlo light down jacket that’s so tailored it practically doubles as a blazer (in the Bay Area, at least!). I’m in between sizes, and I opted for a size up, and it works well. My husband asked if he can get the same jacket—but the men’s version unfortunately misses some of the design details. Maybe that’s why women’s version in navy XL are sold out?

‘Exploration move’: I was reading about AI 'reinforcement learning’ the other day, and the book gives an example of tic-tac-toe where the machine might make a move that doesn’t currently predicts the highest probability of winning. It’s called an ‘exploration move’. (Wait, isn’t that just called ‘taking a risk’?) This Weekend Max Mara shirt jacket was such a move for me. I was on the fence —would it work for me? On what occasions? Price-wise, it’s also a little splurge. However, it’s this photo (oh, sophia) that convinced me to give ‘shirt jacket’ a chance.

I will report back how often I end up wearing it.

Accessories:
I added this viscose and cashmere scarf to my little collection.

Last, but not the least, I got another pack of these ankle socks from Amazon. They work perfectly with low top sneakers, and, they—wait for it— STAY ON.

Now that’s life-changing.

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Phew. That’s all for now.

If you read till here, perhaps you’d consider sharing or subscribing to my future letters 🙂

And, think someone else could use this newsletter? Please spread the word 🙂 

Till next time,

S